did i make a wrong turn?

Did I lose my way somewhere down this long winding road that I've traveled in college? I ask this question because things just seem weird lately. Nothing feels the same. I can see the end is sight but what do I do when I get there? I figured on teaching but I'm not so sure anymore. Honestly I've never had that feeling of "THAT'S what I'm going to do." I always hear people say, "I took this class once and in the first day of class I knew that that this is exactly what I wanted to do." Why did that never happen to me? I've tried a bunch of different classes and never had a definitive "yes" in my mind. Don't get me wrong, I like history, I really do, but is that what I want to do with the rest of my life? While I was sitting in the libary reading a book for my class I thought about doing something with libraries, like a librarian or researcher. That might be the nerdiest thing ever, but I love the library. I love the fact that there is so much history, science, information and education that is just waiting there, all you have to do is open a book. OK, enough of this mumbo jumbo. Well I've been thinking about not being an RA for the spring. I like the job, I like my staff, I like my boss, but the thought of not having to deal with the responsibilities that go with the job seem very enticing and I know I'm not alone in my thinking that things seem different. Maybe its because its a new year, new people or maybe the excitment of the job and everything that goes with it have just sort of fizzled out. I'm not even talking about just with other RA's. Even others who are involved on campus sort of feel the same thing. On the other hand, I have a free housing, a free meal or two a week and a small paycheck here. Sometimes the RA job is not a job at all and my life is no different, then there are times where its hectic and very difficult. Ahh, decisions decisions. School sucks. I've got a test on Friday, I'll be studying all day and all night. I've got a book to read by next Wednesday. I'll try to get that done on Sunday, maybe half of it. Then I've got a midterm and a book review due the following week. Arg. If I can make it through the next two week I'll be OK. I'll be working on catching up on every bit of reading I've been assigned as well as getting my two term papers done. Should be a fun rest of the semester. My heel hurts, very weird. I wish I could talk with a South African accent, just imagine the chics I'd get!! J/k. Well I guess thats it for now. I've got class at 8 then I'll probably come home, take a rest and hit the books forever. Sorry if my words are messed up, I've been watching "Blood Diamond" and not paying attenton while I write.

Rock On


Dan